Articles
My Clique
“We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren” (1 John 3:16). “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7). “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:11). I am impressed that of all the characteristics that could have been named as the most distinguishing for Christians, Jesus says that it is our love for each other that makes us distinctively His. “By this will all men know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).
My Clique
If I am expected to “lay down my life” for a brother (1 John 3:16), go after him when he falls (Galatians 6:1-2), and help him with physical needs (James 2:15-16), then I clearly need to invest the time in getting to know him. An incentive that we sometimes forget about is that everybody you currently know (and like) was also once a complete stranger. Imagine who might be your friend a year from now if you only put the energy into it!
There are times when it is tempting to associate only with the same group of people. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to have a close “inner circle”, since that group of friends might be a good influence on us, share similar spiritual priorities, have a flexible schedule, or are fun to be around. We also have a tendency to become close to those who share our stage in life (teenagers, college students, young parents, etc.). But our social “tunnel vision” sometimes becomes so narrow that we ignore the development of meaningful relationships with people who are different. Remember:
Being around the same group of people can make us stagnant spiritually. We learn to get used to the faults or vices of others, rather than root them out. New friends can help us become aware of how bad our habits are.
It is foolish to think that a group of friends will stay static. If I am resistant to change or uncomfortable around new people, I may find myself very lonely in a couple years. The problem with a narrow group of friends is that every stage of life has its own forms of transience. Teenagers move away to college, young families move around because of work opportunities, etc. Churches are in constant flux, so be prepared to keep your group of friends open-ended.
Forming and staying in a clique is often just a security blanket. You are comfortable around certain people, so it is just easier to stay there rather than confront your insecurities and build new relationships.
