Sharing Our Secrets
This past week I read these words from a connection on social media:
10 years ago next Monday (October 12th), I found myself sitting in an abortion clinic with my boyfriend who is today my husband. Trust me when I tell you that we have dealt with the consequences and will continue to do so. I have spent 10 years with guilt, anger, un-forgiveness, bitterness, resentment, flashbacks and much more! I keep thinking back to that day and it haunts me every day… When I was in the procedure room I remember changing my mind and saying No No No as the nurse was injecting the anesthesia... it was too late but because the doctor gave her the go ahead as I was resisting, I was not able to walk away.
I apologize to those who I have hurt and I apologize to those that I have pushed away (especially those in the Church). It has taken me a long time to allow God to allow the decision that [my husband] and I made to work for the good in my life. I have worked very hard on a personal level to find healing from this. I have prayed continuously that God would give me Peace, Rest and Comfort and that is exactly what He gave me! He gave me a beautiful baby boy which I do NOT deserve! God forgave my sin and allowed [us] to be Noah’s parents. We gave Noah his name because Noah means exactly what I requested…. Peace, Rest and Comfort.
There is no doubt that [my husband] and I sinned and there is no doubt that we will continue to pay the price for that sin but I am thankful because the sin that I committed brought me closer to God and He has allowed me to help others (in and out of the Church). Through sin we become broken and through brokenness (if we allow it), God makes us beautiful.
As I read those words, it occurred to me that I never knew the past of my friend and sister in Christ. It also brought up more questions… What else do I not know? What do I not know about other friends? What do my friends not know about me? And perhaps the greatest question: Why? Why don’t I know these things? Why don’t I share them myself? Why haven’t I gotten to know my brethren better?
That answer is pretty simple: pride. None of us want to share those dark times in our lives with others because we are afraid of the judgment. We are afraid of the stigma that will follow us in the eyes of others. We are afraid of the reputation we might develop. And yet we are told to “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16). And those who might judge are gold to bear the burdens of others rather than use them for judgment (Galatians 6:1–2). Those passages are hard to do if we harbor secrets rather than share our pain, burdens, and struggles.
My friend also included these words:
On this dark and gloomy 10 year anniversary…I pray that God will allow my story to touch others and to somehow make a small difference in this cruel and evil world. If this has touched you or if you have had an abortion and are silent, I am here and would love to sit down and talk! We as Christians must not look away…We all fall short of the glory of God! We all sin and we need to be open and bring these issues up to one another so that we can be a shining light! We all are striving to get to Heaven so why not help each other get there along the way!
That’s what we should be doing with our past struggles. We should share our stories and touch others so we can make a difference in their lives. May God help us to bear each others’ burdens.